After making contact with Behrat my school life picked up, one of my side businesses was doing better, and then it started to get out of control. Nothing major, just a bit too fast for me to do justice to everything, I still managed but it became harder and harder to keep up my A’s and keep up with my clients. Sometimes my life shifts to suit the Sphere I’m about to contact. This time it spiralled the other way so I needed the Sphere I was about to contact.
The Bringer of Old Age playing quietly in the distance, black candles, myrrh with a hint of sulphur filled the air, circle drawn, and the glyph of Saturn floating white on my black mirror. It was time. I called to the Angels I had encountered as I opened the mirror, and travelled, the blackness was cold and I flew, specks appeared and passed away as the Spheres fell beneath me. As I climbed higher the blackness grew oppressive, as if the infinity was closing in on me. Crushing me slowly until I couldn’t move. I reached out and a door appeared, dull grey lead in a triangle with a black flaming Saturn glyph on the door. Slowly I knocked three times and opened the door.
It wasn’t much brighter on the other side, but I step through into the blackness. I could hear a fire crackling in the distance, echoing through this cave, but it gave no light. No light was needed, it was dark, oppressively so, but there was the omnipresent light still, it didn’t banish the dark or displace it, somehow this light merely illuminated the dark. The darkness was light. Behind me the cave ended in a wall, the door vanished, ahead of me stretched a cave tunnel, long and smooth, curving out of site. I called for a spirit of the place to come, but nothing came, instead I found myself walking.
After completing what felt like a complete circle in a spiralling upwards tunnel I came to a wide room. In the centre of the room hung an obsidian stalactite slowly dripping shining white water into a red lead cauldron, resting on a tripod over a crackling black fire that gave no light. Behind it stood a person, strong, tall, and lean, but skeletal and desiccated. The form wavered slowly between being dried flesh pulled over a skeleton, to a vibrant person and all the stages in between. “Are you the one I’ve come to see?” “I am the last you shall see for a long time. Come Ancient Child, sit with me and enjoy the flow.” There was a stool across from em on the other side of the cauldron, it was suddenly low enough that we could see each other easily over it. “I am the one you want. The…ruler of this world.” Ey smiled with a living face, but all eir teeth were jagged metal. “To many this lacks the wonder of the worlds above, or the beauty of the worlds below, but it is just as necessary, if not more to have this realm.” Ey paused and looked at me. “Many are out of place here, but you…you are not, you are tied to this place from heartbeat to heartbeat you are tied here.” The flame beneath the cauldron shifted to a blue colour, and the spirit took on a smile grin again, this time on a skull. “Yes, I see it now, you are tied here, not this here, but another reflection of it. You see a reality too many look over, to them it is a tomb, to you it is the womb. You have the scent of one who has walked this way before. Come!” Ey were standing and half way out of the room before I managed to stand.We continued walking quickly up the tunnel. Every time I went to ask a question ey spoke first answering them. “You know what I mean, don’t ask me to clarify. Your Mother, your birth, your death. Tomb, womb, dissolution, and creation, it’s all the same here. While my serpentine sibling is the centre of our worlds, I’m the centre of what lies beyond. This is the womb from which spirit is born into the world, the tomb from which spirit is freed from the world. The crossroads of spirit and form is the black heart of this place. You are at the top of a Great Tree, beyond this place there is Nothing, there is Everything. We are too high up for you to ever truly walk on the ground, from the Tree there is only the Sky. Stop! We’ve come far enough, ask me no more of this place, and the questions you seek answered.” We had exited the cave, over us danced a night sky, swirling like in a time lapse video out, and not far away the ground ended and dropped away into nothing. Ey revealed eir name as Konshal. The name has the same value as End or Destruction, one of the attributes of Saturn. It also matched up with cliff and precipice which not only matched the end of the vision but a way of viewing it’s placement on the Tree and in the Spheres. Another enumeration leads it to mean to perish or grow old, and flame. Here it also means “they became and they shall be.” I think that gets to the Womb/Tomb aspect.
The name of the Sphere was given as Ereen E and reen as is seen. The name has the same value as the light, den, and steep place. It also enumerates to darkness, death, and abyss (not the Qabalistic one). While not an extremely strong link, it had enough for me to continue, when the other names are taken into consideration.
The class of Spirits from this realm are the Golmtzah, who probably have the award for the hardest to pronounce name I received. I can’t really explain how to say golm, there really isn’t an English word that matches but gol is like goal and it’s an lm sound instead of just l. The tzah is a sharp za noise, with a very slight hiss infront of it, almost like the zza in pizza -at least in the southern Ontario accent. Anyways the name has the same value as to mourn, to bind, to draw together, and contract. It can also be worked down to have the same value as oak and great tree, as well as nothingness, and corpse. The only one that isn’t immediately self-explanatory I think is oak and great tree, but to these Angels they describe the spheres of Saturn and below as part of the Tree, and the spheres above as belonging to the Sky or Heaven or Space.
And of course the God Name that constrains, forms, and controls this Sphere is Sharrom. (Rom as is roam) The value is the same as lead, as in the metal of Saturn, as well as first and primary, perpetual and constant. I wasn’t sure but I thought first/primary dealt with the placement of being the first of form, or the first on the Tree, and perpetual/constant referring to the aspect of Time in the realm of Saturn.
The names in this part of the experiment didn’t match as perfectly as some of the others, and I have no clear reason or understanding why. They work with me, and they have passed a single-blind experiment with others, so I’d say they’re valid, just for some reason not as perfectly matched as others. I’d say I’d reskry at some point and see if I get a better set of names, but this entire experiment took 2 years and 2 months, so I’d rather not revisit it when it’s still working. Also I can’t seem to find the sigil Konshal revealed to me, and I don’t want to draw what little I remember to spread, so I will include it in a later entry.